Think back on your life, is there a time when you wished you had pushed yourself more and faced your fears, but the fear won the battle in the end?
Do you ever wonder how things might have turned out if you acted differently? Or if you acted at all?
Whether it’s a fear of flying, being afraid to speak publicly or procrastination and perfectionism in your business…whatever is on the other side of your fear is an opportunity for growth, it is an opportunity for change, and it is an opportunity for you to reclaim your power.
And yes, procrastination and perfectionism are fear in camouflage. We’ll dig more into that juicy topic another day.
Right now, I want to tell you a story and give you a few tools that will serve you in the face of fear.
It was spring break and my daughters and I decided to go parasailing. There they were, all excited, big smiles, totally pumped. Me…not so much, I was totally freaking out on the inside. Why you ask, the 2 things I fear – heights and the ocean, so parasailing…perfect! Oh and I notoriously get sea sick.
It’s time, my 10 year-old and I sitting on the end of the speed boat about to get lifted up high into the sky on a tandem parasailing experience. Holy shit, what am I going to do? I look over at her and she looks back at me with those “mom, I’m so scared, are we going to die” look. Instantly in that moment I made a choice. A choice to be the director of my mind and put into practice the tools I teach. To create a fun, wonderful experience for the both of us.
Tool #1: BREATHE.
To interrupt my nervous system and calm my mind, I started breathing deeply, slowly and on purpose. I used my go to 4/7/8 method and it centered me to exactly where I needed to be.
Tool #2: BECOME WHO YOU NEED TO BE THAT’S RELEVANT IN THAT MOMENT.
This takes some imagination and a dab of focus. If you continue to stay fixated on who you’re not - ”I’m afraid of the ocean. I have a fear of heights,” then you will be imprisoned by that limitation. Instead, ask yourself, “Who do I need to be right now, so I can do this thing that I want to do?” Choose thoughts that empower you! So, in my case, what would a parasailing whizz do? What would they be thinking? Then run that story in your mind. “I love the ocean. I’ve parasailed a hundred times. I love boats. Look how high we are!” It worked. It worked like a dream.
Tool #3: FUTURE FOCUSED.
Choose a visual and place your focus into the near future. When you do that, you are showing yourself that all be well. Because if you can see yourself in a future happening, then clearly, you’re safe. It’s soothing. For me, it was the image of all us having dinner together that evening at the resort. We were having a great time, smiling, laughing and it helped me know it was all going to be fine.
And yes, by the time we were being pulled back down from our parasailing ride in the sky, I was singing -”I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky.” Thanks R. Kelly 😊